How Are Your Family Boundaries?

Disputes with in-laws, out-laws, and other family members can cause problems in your marriage. How are the boundaries in your marriage? Take the following quiz to evaluate.


1. We frequently argue about issues and incidents involving our families.

True

False


2. My spouse believes that I spend too much time with my parents/sister/brothers.

True

False


3. I dread the Holidays because of the demands on our time and needing to "please everyone."

True

False


4. Family members frequently call me when they have problems.

True

False


5. I feel like we take most of the responsibility for our parents.

True

False


6. I often feel torn between my spouse and my family.

True

False


7. When I say "No," I feel guilty.

True

False


8. I feel responsible for the problems of others in my family.

True

False


9. I frequently find myself in the middle of a conflict between two other people.

True

False


10. At times, I am emotionally cut off from members of my family.

True

False


11. My family has arguments and conflicts that never get resolved.

True

False


12. We often have family members who become scapegoats for problems.

True

False



Scoring:  How many "trues" did you score?

0-1, excellent.  You are focusing on your marriage by having respectful boundaries with family members.

2-5, very good.  Making progress.  Look for opportunities to further define your position with the family.

5-9, good.  Discuss boundaries with you spouse.  Practice saying "NO" more often.

10-12, get working.  Carefully evaluate the changes you an your spouse need to make to handle family issues more effectively.

Married? Engaged? Thinking about marriage? Learn the marriage counseling strategies the experts use! Whether you are in a relationship that you want to make better, or are having difficulties with your marriage, you can receive immediate marriage counseling from relationship expert Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW.

  • Discover the top three myths that sabotage marriages
  • Learn the two basic building blocks that all couples must master
  • Identify the top three issues that couples fight about
  • Learn how to build intimacy for a better sex life
  • Discover how to argue constructively
  • Find the behaviors that prevent you two from getting closer
  • Learn how to handle in-laws, out-laws, and other family members

For tools and techniques to build your relationship, please visit: Marriage Tools


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