How Is Your Communication?

1.Which derailment techniques do you use?  Check all that apply:

_____Defensive body posture or tone

_____Eye rolling

_____Tongue clicking

_____Head shaking

_____Sighing

_____Cutting others off

_____Yelling and screaming

_____Cursing

_____Name-calling

_____Sarcasm

_____Emotionality

_____Door slamming

_____Suitcase pack

_____Pouting

Out of this list, pick the two that are the most problematic for you. These will be the two that you concentrate on for future communication.

2.Which of these defense mechanisms do you use to build walls between you and your spouse? Check all that apply:

______Denial

______Projection

______Manipulation

______Censoring

______Passive/aggressive

______Over-controlling

______Defensiveness

______Rationalizing

______Shutting down

 

Pick one primary defense mechanism that builds a wall between you and your spouse. Agree that you will support each other in your efforts to reduce the frequency and intensity of using this defense.

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